Ballad of the Spinster

 

The Ballad of the Kijabe Spinsters

(To the tune of On top of old Smokey)

 

I'm glad I'm a spinster

And live by myself

It's quiet and peaceful

Up here on the shelf!

 

Now come all my sisters

And listen to me

This marriage is not all

It's cracked up to be.

 

For marriage has trials

And housework's a chore

And raising a family

Has problems galore.

 

Perhaps you have sighed for

Some honeymoon bliss

But they tell me there's much more

To marriage than this.

 

There's washing & darning

The socks hubby wears

And the shirts he wants ironing

Would drive me to tears.

 

When Junior is coming

You think it's just great

And you're sick as a hound-dog

Each morning at 8!

 

Your clothes just won't fit you

Your feet disappear,

But you keep right on slaving

and call hubby “my Dear!”

 

Well at last Junior makes it

Then the Joy of your heart

gets colic and measles

And your sleepless nights start.

 

From then on till doomsday

The patterns the same

Just shows what can happen

With this “come hither game.”

 

So count up your blessings

Come, list them with me;

There must be a hundred

Well, maybe there's three.

 

No husband to nag you

When dinner's a flop

Or children to follow

With clean nappy or mop.

 

On furlough it's cheaper

Only one fare to pay

Paris, Brussels and London

I'll “do” on the way.

 

For trips to Nairobi

My Volksies just right

I'm always the driver

And there's never a fight!

 

When you share with a house mate

The living is swell

Cook one week per fortnight

Like a sort of hotel.

 

But the full moon is wasted

Way up in the sky

And I ain't had no loving'

Since January, February, June, or July!

 

Let's face it dear Spinsters

Though this is our lot

Sometimes there are days when

We wish it were not!

 

But we won't go complaining

Or get tough and staid

We'll stay gentle and happy

And we won't be afraid.

 

For the dear Lord has promised

His grace for each hour

And He gives us His comfort

His love & His power

 

So- I'm glad I'm a Spinster

While that is His will

And I'll praise my dear Saviour

And His purpose fulfill!

 

JHS Kijabe 1963